Family Management

Today I spent about an hour ‘helping’ my daughter to clean her room. I did at least 90% of it and I had to delegate tasks to her or it would have been 100%. To be fair it was well beyond what an 8 yr old could tackle and I shouldn’t have let it get that bad.

I’ve been working on getting my family to contribute more to the chores of the household. Mostly so that I don’t have a nervous breakdown. Also so that they don’t have a nervous breakdown when they move out and realise all the things I used to do for them.

The reward for all our hard work this weekend was a trip to the local pools, as much a reward for me as the kids. We all feel a lot better when we’re in water. It’s actually really good parenting and self care advice ‘you/kids crabby? Put them/yourself in water.

I’m pretty proud of my children’s swimming abilities. They had about two years or so of swimming lessons and while it doesn’t necessarily look pretty they can keep themselves alive in the water. Of course I stay within arms reach at all times, mostly to stop the life guards jumping in and ‘saving’ Mr 5. They actually had to ask me today if he was ok, which was a bit embarrassing. ‘Yeah he’s not drowning, he’s just invented a new stroke’.

After swimming we bought ice creams at the kiosk and the kids played in the park while they dried off. Then we came home and ate dinner which Miss 8 decided to leave early due to my having to add a ‘also humming’ clause to the ‘no singing at the dinner table’. Which amused everyone except Miss 8.

Then I remembered there was washing in the machine. Which I delegated to the husband, citing exhaustion as the reason ‘I just can’t’.

Then I noticed Mr 5 hadn’t scraped his plate. I asked him politely to please scrape his plate, to which he replied ‘Can’t you do it? Why do I have to do it?’ I’m in such a good mood it made me giggle.

‘I don’t know son. Daddy scraped his plate. I scraped my plate. Miss 8 scraped her plate. Why do you think you have to scrape your plate?’ He scraped it.

So now I’m sitting on my big butt. Dishes in the sink. Relaxing. Content. Miss 8 starts ‘Muuuuuum will you plaaaaaay with me. I need mummy time.’ I’m not falling for it.

‘Everyone has had enough mummy time today. In fact the only person who needs mummy time right now is mummy. Possibly daddy. But you guys are fine.’ I said it with such certainty that I only needed to say it once.

I’ve been 19 days without a cigarette and the greatest surprise is the increase in my confidence. I no longer feel guilty that I’m sneaking off to get my fix so I can feel better about saying ‘no’ sometimes. It also puts things into perspective, if I’m going to live my life without addiction to run to in times of stress, I’m going to have to actually deal with what’s causing me stress. Clear the clutter and make sure everyone chips in. Shitty jobs but worth it to sit here on my clean lounge at the end of the day.