I’m Trying to be Fucking Zen here!

I read a great quote today. It said ‘ I will not let anyone walk through my mind with dirty feet’. Apparently Mahatma Ghandi said it. So it’s very deep, obviously. And it resonated with it, and at the same time it pissed me off!

‘The mind is all powerful ‘ said lots of people and ‘we create our own reality’ said all these dudes who hang with Oprah. And I love this shit, I really do because who doesn’t want to create their own reality? The sick and the starving do for sure.

Let me tell you about my ‘reality’. In my reality I am always, kind, patient and in control of my emotions. Because of this good things happen to me. Every morning I wake up feeling refreshed and ready to greet another day.

In my ‘reality’ my children are grateful for their nutritious breakfast. They get ready excitedly for another days learning.

In my ‘reality’ my husband gives me a kiss and a hug (hey let’s go crazy, he dips me) while my children look on in awe of or romance. Hubby then goes to bed as he still works night shift, (it’s not his ‘reality’).

In my ‘reality’ I am really ace at my job, never tired and never secretly counting down til home time. The day goes way to fast as I’m fully absorbed in all of it. My work mates have to remind me to go home.

To cut a long story short because I’m boring myself, in my ‘reality’ my house is always clean because every body pitches in and everyone is grateful for each other and our lovely clean home and yadda, yadda, yadda.

Now here’s what actually happened this week….

• I was in a shit mood because my kids won’t stop talking or touching me ever
• Everyone got in a shit mood because ‘if mumma ain’t happy, ain’t no body happy.
• Everyone sleeps in my bed except my husband
• Husband stops talking to me
• School holidays is over so every freaking day my daughter tantrums for atleast an hour

• My son bounces out of bed before my alarm every day and is the happiest person alive and wants to chat nonstop

• I pressed something wrong here and now I got these grey boxes going on (matches under my eyes)

• Did reiki meditation several times to put myself in a magical golden bubble to protect myself from the various energies coming off the members of my family.

• Arseholes in my house kept bursting my bubble.

• Got a new job and lots of congratulations and felt excited and positive about the future

• Hubby did not read the script and did not say the right thing. Let him walk his dirty feet all over my mind and felt despair.

So yes, it’s good to work on your mindset and all that but in the real world it comes off a little too simplistic for me. I’m still going to envision a white light and breathe in the light and exhale the shit every now and then though, we can’t have it building up inside.

Pro tip: sometimes the best way to release the shit is to tell someone how you really feel. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s instalment: The Backlash