Unpopular Life Advice

I’ve been thinking a lot about the common phrases that get spread around. There’s the motivational ‘if you fail to plan, you plan to fail’, the practical ‘what other people think of me is none of my business’ and the cautionary ‘snitches get stitches’.

We come up when with helpful little phrases to ensure we stay on track; ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’ and define our values ‘You teach people how to treat you’. These statements clutter up our news feeds and in turn our minds like LEGO on a living room floor. Some are helpful, some not so much.

I thought I might have a go at some life changing/life affirming statements I have either found helpful or made up to help myself. Let me know how you feel about them. I’m curious.

1. A lot of things taste as good as skinny feels.

Big Macs, chocolate, hot chips, chicken snitzel with gravy….the list goes on. Your mind has this super power meant to keep you alive that makes eating food enjoyable. Also your mind is more interested in staying alive, right now, then it is into looking good in a bikini this summer. There’s lots of food companies that take advantage of this system, and you’re not in the minority if you struggle with your weight. The trick is to not ‘fail to plan’ and eat healthily and regularly in my experience.

2. Temperament is for Life

You know those people who are always happy, calm and see the bright side of life? They haven’t had a better life than you and they haven’t found ‘the secret’. They were just born that way and they can’t tell you how to do that anymore than a bird can teach you to fly. Can you work hard to overcome your short comings or try to put yourself in environments that bring out your best side for sure, but maybe accepting that you’re the stressy/fussy/emotional type will avoid some of your problems too.

3. The only person you can control is yourself

And let’s be honest most of us are a bit shit at that most of the time. Just let people be who they are, of course have boundaries and let people know when they’ve overstepped them but you can’t make people be who you wish they were. Really truly. Stop.

4. If you’re not learning you’re dead

Also if you don’t eat, you don’t shit, you don’t shit, you die. Stay humble because life has a way of challenging everything you thought you knew at every turn. Keeping an open mind about the world whilst trying to keep all the bull shit out is a full time job.

5. Everyone is NOT equal

How I wish it were so. I wish that there was no poverty, no child abuse, no domestic violence, no addiction, no mental illness….I could go on and on. When I worked at a refuge I heard stories that would be enough to make anyone fall in a heap and never get up. But these people did get up and look after their families everyday to the best of their ability. They might never own their own homes or hold down a job but their ability to survive and often keep a sense of humour is inspirational.

6. You’re the only person you’re stuck with for life so you might as well love yourself.

Sounds obvious but so many of us talk to ourselves like crap. Don’t say anything to yourself you wouldn’t say to your best friend. Advocate for yourself, learn to meditate so you can separate your thoughts from who you are, feed yourself healthy food, do things you love.

7. Life is not fair but it’s still good.

When you feel like everything is stacked up against you, be a badass and laugh anyway. Be silly with your kids, dance to some music while you clean, dance in your car at the traffic lights, tell a stranger their hair looks nice.

8. Lifting others up lifts you up too

Life’s not a competition. Remind someone why they matter, give compliments, lend a hand, make a casserole, talk to their chatter box kid so they can have a few minutes to think straight….please?

9. Admit you might be a bit shit

Ok so this one might not be for everyone. For some it comes easily for others it might be boss level or only on their death bed. Making mistakes makes us human. If you’ve hurt someone say sorry and work on how to not to do it again. If the only hurt is to yourself you need to work on that too. And then forgive yourself, don’t wait for someone else to do it, just do it. We’re all a bit shit sometimes, all still learning to be ‘good humans’. No such thing as perfect.