I’m a Bleeder (girls only sealed section).

Today a 12 yr old I’d just met proudly told me she got her period for the first time. And that she’d changed her pad 3 times today already because apparently her family are all ‘heavy bleeders’. I mean I’m glad she felt comfortable enough to tell me that but maybe start with your name next time kid. Maybe not so much in front of the six year olds.

Of course I congratulated the young lady and welcomed her to womanhood. Then I checked on her welfare. Then I asked her her name. I felt sorry for her but I tried not to show it. It’s a normal and natural process. Maybe if I convey that message she won’t have to suffer cramps or mood swings or just feeling ‘swampy’ by the end of the day. Besides, even if all those things are happening, she’s going to have to learn to pretend that they aren’t.

I’ve heard of women who breeze through their periods, 3-4 days of light bleeding, no pain, no moods, nothing. I try not to hate them for it, and I don’t really, so long as they have compassion for their swampy, cramped sisters. If theirs one thing I can’t empathise with, it’s a lack of empathy.

From the early days at just 11 I have been plagued by period problems. Heavy bleeding, leaking pads, cramps that could only be relieved by medication that also made me sleep. Soon followed anemia despite eating plenty of meat. For at least a couple of days per month I was pretty much useless. And my periods went for 8 or 9 days and were often not a full month apart so there wasn’t much reprieve.

Enter ‘The Pill’. I know the pill gets a bad rap from some but to me it was a lifeline. It didn’t seem to make the bleeding much better but I could go three months between periods. Bliss.

Problem solved, end of story, until….20 odd years later when someone finally asked me (doctor) if I suffer from migraine with aura. ‘Yes? Oh dear, there is an increased risk of stroke if you take the pill and get migraine with aura. We can’t prescribe you that.’

In case you don’t know migraine aura is when prior to or during a migraine attack you also get weird squiggly lines in your vision. Look directly at the light, then look away. See all that trippy stuff in your vision? That’s what auras look like to me.

Migraines are definitely hormonal for me which means when I was taking the pill back to back I’d maybe get one or two attacks every three months. Which might sound a lot, but much preferred to one or two times every month.

The trial and error of birth/period control has been a roller coaster but I’ll sum it up in point form:

• Mini pill: constantly bleeding, heavily
• Depo shot: constantly bleeding, though light, no sex drive
• No birth control at all: bleeding once a month, torrential like nothing I’ve ever experienced. At one point I pondered when is it enough blood to go to the hospital?

So then, I started looking into IUDs. I had to have a scan first and then see a gynaecologist. Which was good, in a way because the torrential bleeding was caused by my womb lining growing too thick which can (rarely) be cancer.

And that’s how I ended up getting a biopsy of my uterine lining on my first ever visit to the gynaecologist. Like I don’t want to get all feminist here but would they biopsy a testicle without any kind of anesthetic? It fucking hurt.

And then I had to wait like a month for the results which were (thankfully) fine but a month is a long time for anyone with health anxiety. ‘We’ll call if something is wrong otherwise we’ll discuss at next appointment’ just seems a little cruel to someone like me.

So now I have an IUD (again no pain relief!) and doc promised if I wasn’t happy by 6 months, then definitely by 12. Anyway he wanted to see me in 6 months but that was at the start of covid and I’ve just been so busy. Also I wasn’t that happy at 6 months.

Here’s some TMI. Not long after I had it inserted I had bad cramping on my left and was sure the bloody thing was sticking into my uterus. So I let someone do an ultrasound up my vjayjay again and what do you know? IUD is siting perfectly but there’s a cyst on my ovary (apparently can be a side effect.)

Somewhere in that first year I passed a lot of big lumps of tissue. It was scary and it hurt but I thought maybe that was the ‘extra lining’ leaving my body.

Now in the second year I hardly get periods. It’s more like spotting but it lasts a long time and sometimes the cramps can still be pretty bad. And I get hot flushes and mood swings. And look a friend told me she’s got similar (except for light periods) and her doctor says it’s peri menopause.

I used to wish for menopause but now I know better. I do have a greater understanding of why both my grandmothers had hysterectomies.

It’s been a journey and I’m sure lots of you have your own unique stories of ‘monthly‘ issues and trial and error of trying to control them. I still ask myself every now and then if I should just try a different dr that doesn’t know me and get them to prescribe me the pill. It was very perfect for me. But then there’s that stroke risk, and honestly the fear of having that IUD removed after how bad the insertion was scares the crap out of me.

So there it is. I’m aware this is a controversial one that won’t be for everyone but I know some of you will be able to relate ‘womens issues’ are a bit shit but loom pretty large in so many lives.